Somewhere in the Middle
by shred01
Summary: This is a BuffyAngel crossover. Angel and Buffy meet for the first time since she was brought back from the dead. It's set in season 6 of Buffy between eps Flooded and Life Serial and in season 3 of Angel between eps Carpe Noctem and Fredless. Read and Re
1. Default Chapter

**SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE**

**_Previously on Angel and Buffy the Vampire Slayer...._**  
  
_Cordy comes hurrying out and Angel and Fred turn their heads to look at her.  
  
Cordy, a bit breathless: "Angel, Willow's on the phone... She's alive! Buffy's alive!"  
  
With that Cordy turns around and hurries back in.  
  
Angel and Fred look at each other for a beat then Angel jumps up and runs into the hotel after Cordy.  
  
The phone rings  
  
BUFFY: (gets up) Who's calling me? Everybody I know lives here. (walks toward kitchen) I'll be back.  
  
GILES: Buffy, what is it?  
  
She turns back to face them, pauses for a moment before speaking.  
  
BUFFY: Angel.  
GILES: Is he in trouble?  
BUFFY: He knows that I'm ... (trails off) He, he needs to see me. I have to see him.  
GILES: Yes, of course. You'll leave for L.A. tomorrow.  
BUFFY: (shakes her head) Not L.A. And not here. Somewhere in the middle. There's a, a place.  
GILES: I see. Well, we should get all these ... bills and things out of the way before-  
BUFFY: I gotta go now. _

The night was unusually chilly and I pulled my tan leather jacket tighter around me, trying to keep out as much cold as possible. There was a slight breeze that swept through the deserted park, cooling the night even more. I sighed and sat on the park bench nearby. It has nearly been twenty minutes since I got here and there was no sigh of him anywhere. I wondered whether he would turn up at all. I wouldn't be surprise if he didn'tHe probably realized at the last minute that seeing me wasn't going to do him any good. But to a certain extent it was true. Seeing each other wasn't going to do us any good. It would probably bring us more pain than anything else. _So what am I doing here?_

I was thrilled when Angel called me and told me that we should meet. Things weren't going well from me back home and I needed to get away just for a while to collect my bearings, to find my footing. Angel's timing could be any better.

I wasn't sure what I would say to him when I see him. I didn't exactly plan a speech or anything and saying "look I'm alive!" isn't a good opener either. Maybe the words would come to me when he's here. Or maybe there won't be any words at all. I smiled wistfully at that thought. I liked it when there were no words exchanged between us. Just nice comfortable silence and smooches. You can never go wrong with smooches.

I heard a sound behind me and I swiveled around in the bench to look over my shoulder. I spotted a male silhouette coming towards me in the distant. There wasn't much lighting around the park – only a few lampposts dotted the park, illuminating places that needed to be illuminating – but I was still able to make out his pale features, which were a stark contrast to his dark clothes. I felt my heart fluttered at the sight of him and I couldn't believe I still felt this way after so long. I stood up to greet him as he came nearer. The sheer sight of him causing happiness I've never felt in a while to flow through me.

"Angel," I whispered. Angel produced a small smile and the two of us fell into each other's arms without another word. I clung onto him, afraid to let go. So many things had happened since I came back that I wasn't sure what was really happening and what was just part of my imagination. But being in Angel's arms made me forget _all_ the things that had been happening. I breathed in his scent and waves of old feelings, which were kept bottled deep inside me, washed over. I pulled away from him and looked into his dark eyes. The same emotions that were in my eyes were reflected in his. "I'm so glad you're here."

"Me too," he replied, his voice cracking a little. I didn't wait a moment longer, needing to feel him, to taste him. I leaned forward and kissed him. _God, he tasted so good._ He didn't fail to kiss back, matching passion for passion. Years of longing to see each other fueled our kissed with so much heat and intensity that it made my head spin. But I didn't stop. _We_ didn't stop.

We finally pulled apart – mostly because I needed to breathe again – and stared into each other's eyes. Our arms were still around each other and I was grateful. My legs felt so weak after that amazing kiss and I was sure I would collapse if he didn't have his hands around me.

"I missed you so much," Angel said. "I thought I'd never see you again."

"You can't make me stay dead that easily," I joked.

Angel chuckled. "Damn right."

We untangled ourselves from each other arms and sat down on the bench. Angel slipped his hand into mine and gave it a squeeze. Even though his hand didn't radiate any heat, he still managed to spread warmth throughout my whole hand by just a squeeze. Some things never change.

"I'm glad you made it. For a while there I thought you bailed on me."

"Not in a million years," he replied.

I smiled. "Good."

"So, tell me what happened. Last I heard you jumped of a tower. You trying to leap tall buildings now?"

The last thing I saw when I jumped off that man-made tower flashed through my mind. I shuddered involuntarily. Though it was something I had to do, it certainly wasn't something I would do again for fun. I didn't regret that I jumped though. It was something I had to do, it was my duty. I probably would have ended my life anyway if it was Dawn who jumped instead. It was better if I went out with a bang anyway.

"Long story," I said, looking down at our hands. Our fingers were intertwined, molded perfectly together. It was a perfect match.

"Right. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

I nodded. I didn't want to talk about it.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. I didn't know why I was apologizing but I felt that I had to. If I had caused a lot of pain to my friends and family, I wondered how much pain I had caused _him_.

"Guess we are even now," he replied with a small laugh. I looked up at him and studied his pale features. I knew he was referring to the time where I had sent him to hell but I didn't think he would bring it up. I never really thought about how he would feel about this whole jumping to my death thing – about how any of them would feel for that matter. All it matter was that Dawn was safe and that it wasn't she that jumped.

"So everything's ok now?" he asked, returning my graze.

I held his look for a moment before looking away. Is it? It's been a few weeks since I 'got back' and already I feel as if I'm in hell. I thought it would be easier after the first week but it only got worse. The voices, noises, and thoughts circling me was still hard to handle. The bright artificial lights and the darkness were so unusual to me that I had to take a moment just to get use to it. It was indeed hell.

But I couldn't really tell all of that to Angel. He had too much on his plate to deal with already and it would be unfair to him if I dumped all my burdens on him. I didn't want to cause him more worry than necessary. So what should I say? That I'm doing fine? That everything is all peachy with a side of cream? Or that I hate my friends for bringing me back?

"I trust that it would get better," I finally said. I prayed he wouldn't push any further. He didn't.

Angel nodded. He let go of my hand and wrapped his arm around me, pulling me closer. I leaned against the crook of his arm, my cheek pressed against his hard, solid chest. _I should be hearing you heart, _I thought sadly. I took a deep breath of his scent. I closed my eyes and pushed everything out of my mind. I wanted this moment to last forever and I wanted to remember every detail of it because I knew this would be the last time I would be here, sitting with the love of my life, all the worries and responsibilities of being a Slayer, a sister and friend vanishing in an instant.

"Whatever you need, you know where to find me," he said, dropping a kiss on top of my head.

_You, Angel. I need you. Does that count? Cause I need you so much. _I nodded against his chest instead. Angel rested his chin on my head and we stay that way till the first rays of the sun threatened him. I didn't want to leave. Being in Angel's arms was the only heaven I knew on this wretched world. And for that long moment, I forgot all the stuff that went on back in Sunnydale. I forgot about the bills that were piling up on the kitchen counter and all the concern faces of my friends. And for that moment, I almost felt peaceful on this hellish place. I almost felt the happiness that I had when I was in heaven.

Almost.


	2. Somewhere in the Middle

**SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE**

The night was cold but it didn't affect me one bit. The wind whipped around me as if trying to sway me but all my attention was somewhere else. I stood rooted to the ground as I stared at the beautiful being a few meters away from me. She had her back facing me but even then, the mere sight of her sent a strange warmth throughout my naturally cold body. If my heart could beat, I knew it would be beating a mile a minute. Or probably stopped beating.

I couldn't believe that it was only a few months ago when I thought I had lost Buffy forever. I could still remember the look on Willow's face when she greeted me at the hotel. A combination of grief and sadness masked her face, causing my body to go numb with dread. Buffy's name fell out of my mouth without thinking and fear gripped my dead heart. The next I knew, I was on my knees, Cordelia rushing towards Willow and demanding from her the whole story. I didn't hear what she said to Cordy, the surrounding noises becoming muffled as my mind was filled with images of Buffy lying cold and dead on the ground.

I snapped back to the present and focused on the Slayer before me. She was seated on the bench now, looking everywhere but behind her. I knew I was late but I still made no attempt to reach her. I was too comfortable staring at her. It was only a moment later when I decided to meet her. As much as I wanted to stand back and savor the joy of her being alive, I wanted to hold in my arms just as badly.

I took a step forward, dry leaves crunching beneath my weight, and I approached her slowly. Buffy whipped around at the sound of my movement and her eyes lit up in delight.

"Angel," she whispered as she stood up. I produced a small smiled and gathered her in my arms. To have her in my arms, to feel her again was so refreshing that it made my head spin. A knot formed at the back of my throat and I squeezed my eyes shut to prevent any tears from falling. She pulled away from me and gazed into my eyes, her own filled with unshed tears.

"I'm so glad you're here."

"Me too," I said. I felt my voice crack a little and I nearly kicked myself. So much for me being manly. She covered the space between us, tilted her head and pressed her lips against mine. Her lips were warm and moist and tasted a bit like strawberries. Just the way I remembered. I kissed her back like I've never kissed her before, years of not seeing her and the feeling of relief to see her alive driving me on. I wanted to stay like this forever but I knew I had to stop. For her sake not mine. After all, she needed to breathe.

Buffy pulled away and my lips immediately felt cold and empty. I studied her face, every detail, every curve, memorizing her even though the image of her beautiful face was already seared in my head forever. "I missed you so much," I choked out. "I thought I'd never see you again."

"You can't make me stay dead that easily," she joked.

Angel chuckled. "Damn right."

We released each other and took a seat on the park bench. I reached out for her hand and took it in my grasp, giving a squeeze. I wanted to stay in touch with her, literally, to feel her warm skin against mine, just to remind myself that she was indeed alive and is not one of my many dreams.

"I'm glad you made it," Buffy said. "For a while there I thought you bailed on me."

Bail on her? Not likely. I had been dreaming about this moment since I heard about her death, praying, hoping and yearning that one of my dreams would come through. "Not in a million years," I told her.

Buffy smiled that smile I fell in love with. "Good."

"So, tell me what happened. Last I heard you jumped of a tower. You trying to leap tall buildings now?"

She fell silent and I wondered whether I brought up a touchy topic. "Long story," she said finally. She looked down at our hands and I couldn't help but follow her graze. I still couldn't believe how our hands looked together. They were a perfect match.

I realized the mood dampened a little bit and I knew at once I brought up a touchy topic. "Right. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to," I assured her.

Buffy nodded, not replying. Then she spoke up. "I'm sorry."

I blinked at her apology. I was about to ask her what she meant when something dawn on me. I was brought back to the memory of a time when I was in Hell and wasn't there for Buffy. I couldn't imagine what sort of pain I brought on her for not being there but I guess she was trying to apologize for causing the same pain and the lost feeling she brought on for me when _she_ died because she knew what it might have felt for him. Now I know how she felt. In a way weird way, they were even.

"Guess we are even now," I said with a small laugh, speaking my mind. Buffy looked up at me and I met her gaze. "So everything's ok now?" I asked. Buffy's blue-green eyes didn't leave my dark ones as she stayed silent. I could see her eyes filled with conflict as her contemplated about her reply. For some reason, I knew she was going to lie to me, to tell me that everything was ok even though things were clearly not. I could see it on her pained face she was still struggling to be alive, to be in this world.

"I trust that it would get better," she finally replied, surprising me with her answer. It wasn't exactly a lie but I hoped it was the truth.

I nodded, not wanting to push her any further. I knew she wouldn't clue me in on what's going on with her unless she sees fit to do so. I let go of her small hand and wrapped my arm around her, drawing her close. Buffy leaned against the crook of my arm, her cheek pressed against my chest where my non-beating heart was. The feel of her body pressed against me brought many repressed memories to the surface that I couldn't help but relive them all.

The old memories made me feel that I should be there for her, to help her regain her footing in this world again. I knew she had friends to help her but were they strong enough to give her the support she so badly needs?

I closed my eyes and shook my head slightly. Buffy wasn't a child anymore. She's practically a grown woman and I have to trust that she can take care of herself. Besides, she wasn't alone. Her friends and sister were there and I was just a phone call away. And for all I know, she may not want my help.

So instead I said, "Whatever you need, you know where to find me." I dropped a kiss on her head, telling her I meant every word. _Please say you need me, Buffy. I'll be there for you every step of the way. Just say you need me. _Much to my disappointment, she didn't respond. She just nodded. I pushed my disappointment away and focused on the fact that she was alive and here with me instead.

I stayed with her till the rays of the sun threatened to burn my existence. We didn't speak or move. We just stayed seated with my arms around her and with her being near my silent heart. She didn't think it was necessary to talk and I couldn't agree more. All I wanted to do was just sit here and enjoy her presence.

We promised to keep in touch when we departed. We kissed one last time and parted ways. My heart felt much lighter when I climbed into the car. Both my heart and mind were at ease to know that Buffy was safe and alive again.

My whole being was almost filled with happiness to know that Buffy was in the world again. My soul almost soared with joy.

Almost.

END


End file.
